Death and sadness

I was reading the Bible and I read Psalm 116:5. The verse says, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." In heaven, I will be whole and healed from the hurt that occurred in this life.
When a beloved family member or close friend that honored Jesus dies, I cry because I miss them.
But I know that they are in good hands. I am crying as I am writing this story.
No one was escape death and we either go to heaven or hell.
I cry when I think that my mother and father will die one day. I love my mom with all my heart and I am beginning to love my father. Death is so cruel. I can image that all my friends and family be dead and I will be all alone because of death. I can image that in my life. But I know even if that happens, the Lord is waiting for me to graduate from this test in this life.
I have made an decision for Jesus. I don't want people to cry when I die because I am in a perfect place where my head is right.
I know that some people that I know on this earth are not saint. I mean that they never wanted to repent from their sins. 
Some of my best friends will be experience heaven so when I say goodbye to them on earth and that makes me but I know the Lord is fair.
I have a poem for my ceremonial explaining that everything I did was to point people to Jesus. 
I am just a person that talks about a message and the person needs to accept but I can't force it.
When I die, I won the lottery. I feel lonely and depress sometimes and God will take that away.
Again, if you don't know this about myself. I go to a graveyard and remind myself to life for Jesus because I will be in the grave someday.

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